I had been dealing with my two night stay in the hospital pretty well emotionally, until now. They pulled my chest tube out at 1130am and that's when I seemed to crash. Once it was out I felt like I had no fight left in me and I was mentally defeated. Maybe it's because getting the tube out was a big step towards going home and on the inside I knew I wouldn't have to deal with this much longer. Typically I can go for a walk and listen to music to clear my head but even doing a few laps around the halls here didn't quite do it for me. I'm ready to just go home, sit on my couch and be done with the hospital for a while.
The past 3 days have taken a lot out of me physically and mentally and I don't know how I'll be able to put up this kind of fight again. It could just be a learning curve though since these were my first overnights in a hospital. Who knows, maybe after I'm back home I'll be able to think more clearly. Until then...your guess is as good as mine.
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